I had an insane dream last night. I’m already known in my family for having strange dreams. No scratch that… fucking outrageously weird dreams. The one last night was both uncomfortable and just plain sick.

I was on a couch watching something on TV with the guy I had my first crush on. We’ll call him Tony. So Tony and I are snuggled on the couch and we starting kissing. Things started to get rather hot and heavy when he tells me that we should wait a while longer before we decide to have sex. Then come to find out, he only meant for us to wait until a commercial came on.

He pulls off my pants and he’s down in my underwear with his hand when my mother comes in. Now, this of course would be completely awkward and startling no matter how old you are and even if it’s perfectly acceptable for you to be having sex. For some reason, we didn’t skip a beat. My mom sat down talking to us like we weren’t totally in the middle of having sex. We had a full blown conversation.

My dreams are friggin weird. My advice? Skip the shot of tequila before bedtime [or drink a hell of a lot more of it so you don't remember shit like this].