Hi Sabby,

I’m a 30-something year old divorced woman with 3 children. I am currently in a relationship with a man a few years younger than I. My family thinks it’s weird. So much in fact that they don’t include him when inviting me to family events. They tell me to leave him at home. I can’t figure out what the problem is. He’s a great man. He’s fantastic with my children and I know if they would look past the fact that he’s younger than me, they would really like him. How can I get them to see what I see?

Miranda – Virgina

Gonna be honest with you here Miranda. It sounds to me like there is something more to the puzzle. I doubt the guy being just a few years younger than you is the issue here.

You’re divorced. I’ve been there. Your family probably worries that you’re in another relationship because let’s face it – divorce is insane and stressful on everyone in the family including your children. And it’s probably even more weird that you’re new boy toy is younger than you. A lot of people associate age with wisdom, maturity and stability.

Ask yourself – What does my family see? What is it I see that they don’t? And if you can’t answer your own questions, then you need to talk to your family. Are you by chance being defensive of the guy just because he’s your boyfriend? Are you possibly too close to the situation to see the big picture?

Then you have to ask yourself a very, very important question. Is this guy important enough that you require your family be nice and accepting of him – either the two of you or nothing at all? Communication is going to be key on this one. You can’t just expect to bring the guy to dinner with your folks and expect them to fawn all over him just because you do. I wish it worked that way, but it doesn’t.