I have been divorced for over 10 years now.  I am now at a point in my life where I am looking to make new friends.  I am not into Clubs and bars.  I have tried every site possible to meet people.  So can you recommend any other ways of developing my social life.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Ruth

You’re making a good start by just getting out there! After all, you just met me and hey, I’m pretty damn awesome. But in all seriousness…

I assume by “every site possible” this includes MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, etc. So the real question is this: How are you utilizing these sites? MySpace has a fantastic networking aspect to it. Not only can you participate in forum discussions and make bonds with people, but you can join more subjective groups and even find some that were made specifically for people in your area. Even better – you can create your own group and use it as a nice icebreaker to message people in your area and you can meet them that way!

Have any interests? – Books, horses, stamp collecting, painting, cooking? Any one of these interests (and whatever else you’re into) are a good base for making friends. You just need to find a group geared towards one or more of them. I like Meetup.com because it gives everyone an excuse to meet each other in a public place over a common interest. There’s no random messaging of people online and it’s a much safer setting.

If you are looking for a significant other, all of the above is still good advice. But I’d also like to throw PlentyOfFish.com in there because I think it’s a nice dating site. It’s completely free. No seriously – not even like “Oh you can email 5 people ever and then you have to upgrade to read their responses” sort of free. Nope.. totally free and it has forums! Oh yes, I like forums. You can find people without even looking for them using forums.

Oh yeah… and I met my awesome husband there!

To add to this… Your local library, parks and recreation department, town visitor centers, etc will have pamphlets and information on events happening in your area. You might want to check some of those out and see if any interest you. At least there, you can meet others who were interested as well. Hotels also have good ideas for places to go and even have coupons to attractions in your area for cheap. Again, good place to meet people of common interests.

Good luck to you Ruth. Hope you have some good information to finding some awesome new friends!

[The original question has been edited by me in order to correct a typo and miscommunication between the questioner and myself. My apologies to both Ruth and my readers for the mistake. The above response by myself has been edited to reflect the modified question and information. Sorry guys!]

I’m a 30-something year old divorced woman with 3 children. I am currently in a relationship with a man a few years younger than I. My family thinks it’s weird. So much in fact that they don’t include him when inviting me to family events. They tell me to leave him at home. I can’t figure out what the problem is. He’s a great man. He’s fantastic with my children and I know if they would look past the fact that he’s younger than me, they would really like him. How can I get them to see what I see?

Miranda – Virgina

Gonna be honest with you here Miranda. It sounds to me like there is something more to the puzzle. I doubt the guy being just a few years younger than you is the issue here.

You’re divorced. I’ve been there. Your family probably worries that you’re in another relationship because let’s face it – divorce is insane and stressful on everyone in the family including your children. And it’s probably even more weird that you’re new boy toy is younger than you. A lot of people associate age with wisdom, maturity and stability.

Ask yourself – What does my family see? What is it I see that they don’t? And if you can’t answer your own questions, then you need to talk to your family. Are you by chance being defensive of the guy just because he’s your boyfriend? Are you possibly too close to the situation to see the big picture?

Then you have to ask yourself a very, very important question. Is this guy important enough that you require your family be nice and accepting of him – either the two of you or nothing at all? Communication is going to be key on this one. You can’t just expect to bring the guy to dinner with your folks and expect them to fawn all over him just because you do. I wish it worked that way, but it doesn’t.